Worry
by wickeddioguardi
Summary: He was worried.  She was holding back.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have no idea where this story came from I found it on my laptop while having a clear out. Its completely A/U and based in my emmerdale world where Natasha didn't kill Mark. I don't own any of the characters.**

He was worried; she was falling apart bit by bit in front of his eyes and until she let him in there was nothing he could do about it. If he could just get her away from this place and Nathan in particular he was sure he could get her to open up to him. He meant it when he said she was heading for a breakdown and he was determined to do everything in his power to prevent that. He watched as she continued to stare at the same piece of paper she'd been looking at for the last half hour or so. She was clearly preoccupied, the strain evident on her face. They'd been avoiding the issue of what had happened in the kitchen earlier instead settling for working in silence only talking when it was absolutely necessary and then always about work. He knew now was as good as time as any to talk to her he just wasn't sure what to say or how best to approach the situation without pushing her further into herself. There was also the problem of which Natasha he was going to get. Lately she'd been jumping between three personalities; the happy nothing's wrong Natasha, the defensive argumentative Natasha who would fly off the handle at a moment's notice and the Natasha from earlier who was finding it all too hard and couldn't cope. It was this Natasha that worried him most. It showed how truly vulnerable she was and the glimpses he got scared him. When they had first meet she had been feisty, confident but most of all strong he saw barely any of those qualities in her anymore despite her attempts to act strong he could always tell it was just the, an act. He had tried so hard over the past few months to be understanding and let her deal with whatever was bothering her in her own way but he was slowly losing his patience and he desperately needed things to change before it tore them both apart. Watching as she picked up her pen only to put it back down seconds later and continue starring he realised enough was enough, they needed to talk just the two of them out of the office with no distractions.

'Hey do you fancy going out for lunch?' he watched her as she continued to stare completely oblivious to the fact he had just spoken. Sensing he needed to take more direct action he moved around the desk spinning her chair as he did so she was facing him. 'Come on we're going out' pulling her out of the chair before she could protest he wrapped his arms around her waist to steadier her as she stumbled slightly caught off guard by the movement. Once he was satisfied she wasn't going to fall he realised his grip and grabbed their coats taking her hand as he did. Gently leading her towards the door he took her lack of protest as a positive sign. On reaching the car he waited for her to get in the passenger side before getting in his own side. He was glad she wasn't fighting him but her silent passiveness was beginning to unnerve him.

Half an hour of near silence later and they were sat in his living room. She had briefly spoken to him when he had asked her if she wanted anything to eat but since then they had been sat in a surprisingly comfortable silence each caught up in their own thoughts.

'I thought we could talk'

'We could have done that at the office' she was clearly getting fed up if her tone was anything to go by. He had to admit he was slightly relieved in the change of attitude even if it did make things more difficult he couldn't handle her so quiet, at least if she was shouting at him she was talking.

'I wanted to talk about this morning. I meant it when I said you needed to let someone in and it was obvious you wanted to tell me something.' He could tell she was preparing her defensives and thinking of ways to brush of this morning as nothing 'look you need to talk to and we're not going anywhere until you do so it's your choice you can tell me what's been bothering you or we can just sit here in silence for the rest of the night.' Her expression was vacant and he genuinely had no idea which way this was going to go he could be in for a long night if her current silence was anything to go by.

'I think Nathan killed Mark'


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heres chapter 2 I have a feeling I was meant to write more but I can't find the plan or remember where I was taking it so i've edited the ending slightly so it can end here which means it's a bit sucky**. **I freely admit to all the mistakes.**

'_I Think Nathan killed Mark'_

It was barely a whisper and if he hadn't been looking at her as she spoke he was sure he would have missed it. He watched as she struggled to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Pulling her closer he was at a complete lose as to what to say, he knew Nathan had something to do with her behaviour and sure the man was a vile, selfish, destructive little know it all but a murderer surely even he wasn't capable of that, especially when it was his own father they were talking about.

'I don't know what to do Declan. When Mark left I was so angry with him I didn't even consider anything was wrong and then everything happened with Maisie and Will was so upset about everything I sort of left Nathan to his own devices he seemed to be coping so much better than the others. He's so much more aggressive now though I barely recognise him anymore' she was talking so fast he was struggling to keep up. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier were now flowing freely and he desperately wanted to just hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok 'I asked him the other day when he admitted to sending the flowers if he knew where Mark was and he told me not to worry we'd never be seeing him again. He was so sure of it like he knew something no one else did' she paused and buried herself further into his embrace clearly devastated by her admission.

'Sweetheart that doesn't mean he killed him. We don't even know where Mark is and we certainly don't know he's dead, for all we know he could be of starting another new life with someone else' he didn't know how best to proceed anymore; part of him wanted to make everything better and just make her happy while the other part of him realised that if her suspicions were true there was really nothing he could do that would ever make it better.

'It's not just that' her voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he was surprised to hear hesitation in it. What could possibly be worse than thinking your son murdered his father? 'I think Cain knows the truth. He was blackmailing him that's why the money disappeared from the safe. He begged me to help him Declan I thought he'd just screwed up again at first but speaking to Cain just makes me more suspicious'

Sensing she had finished for now he finally let himself just hold her tightly to him as a fresh wave of tears fell. He couldn't believe she'd been living with this alone for the past few weeks no wonder she was at breaking point. The more he thought about her behaviour the more it all made sense. It explained why she was so jumpy around Nathan while at the same time so passive towards his actions. The conflict in her was evident in the way she spoke. He was her son no mother wants to think their son capable of such a thing yet at the same time she seemed resigned to the fact that it was well within him to have murdered his father. Now he thought about it Cain had been sniffing around a lot lately and things were always tense whenever he came near them then again a lot of the village were tensed up around Cain. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to kick himself the signs were all there he had just been oblivious to them. It made him wonder what else he had been oblivious to. Had Nathan hurt her? He remembered hearing about the time he had pinned her to the wall during an argument but as usual she had brushed it off as nothing. He knew he'd threatened her and there was no doubt in his mind if he could kill his own father he could just as easily turn on the rest of them if he felt threatened. He knew Natasha would protect Maisie and Will at all costs he just had to ensure someone protected her.

'I think I should move into Home Farm' he felt her stiffen the second the words had left his mouth. He knew it wasn't ideal they'd only really been dating a couple of months and though he was smitten she was understandably cautious and reluctant to move to fast. It had taken him long enough to get her to agree to go out with him. He knew this was risky but in his mind it was a hundred times less risky than letting her live with a potential murderer.

'Declan I don't think that's a good idea' she was looking at him now and he could see the worry and exhaustion in her eyes 'you and Nathan would tear strips off each other if you lived under the same roof and until we know for sure what happened I don't want to rock the boat'

'I'm sorry Natasha but you can't tell me you think your sons a murderer and honestly expect me to be ok with leaving you alone with him. The way he acts has always made me nervous I don't even want to think about what he might do if he thinks you suspect him' he could sense she was conflicted over the idea 'listen from the way you've been acting around him lately your just as worried about what he might do as I am. Don't tell me your not. Let me do this if just for my own piece of mind please'

'OK, but you have to let me talk to Maisie and Will first especially Will he has to be ok things are strained enough as they are I don't want to make it worse' he suppressed the urge to laugh. He wasn't sure how exactly things could be worse but he accepted that she needed to keep some control over the situation and this was the only way she knew how. Plus if he was honest with himself he wanted to do this in a way that meant when this was all over they could still have a future and he knew Wills approval was going to be a large factor in how successful the relationship proved to be 'If we do this I need you to promise me you will try and keep things civil in front of them I don't care what you thing about Nathan but please try not to let them now he's still their brother and I could be wrong.'

'I promise, although if you're right I don't think you're going to have to worry about me being civil' as she cuddled into him again he noticed her eyes were beginning to close. He knew she was exhausted and he couldn't imagine how she had managed to sleep at all lately with this hanging over her head 'Why don't you stay here tonight you said Wills at Belles and Maisie will be with Nikhil no doubt. We could settle in and forget about the rest of the world for the night'

'That sounds nice' judging by the yawn she was trying to suppress he sensed he would be spending the night watching TV while she slept. It amazed him how different she was now compared to when they had first arrived. She looked more peaceful now as she slowly drifted off to sleep than he had seen her in a long time.

He knew the morning was going to bring a whole host of different challenges as they both tried to figure out what to do next. He also knew that if her suspicions were correct then things were going to get a whole lot worse before they got any better but they were in it together now and he could shoulder some of the responsibility so she didn't have to do it all alone. He would also have to have a word with Cain, find out exactly what he knew but that was a task for tomorrow for now he would just enjoy the moment and the feel of her in his arms again.


End file.
